Am i alone on this one?

do you ever get depressed around pay day? I hate spending money, especially on things like food because you spend so much on it and it literally goes down the toilet :/ adn rent is horrid. you are paying off some one elses mortgage huge chunk of money there and i have one of the lowest rents in my city. I can't afford to buy a house adn I'd be scared that i wouldn't be able to make a mortgage payment because my work isn't always steady, i work on call and dont' always get enough hours to live and it is extremely difficult to get another job I am trying but it isn't working. When ever payday comes around i get nervous, i feel like throwing up all the time, i cant sleep or sometime i sleep way too much. i can't live like this anymore i am so unhappy. how do we find a way out?